My Experience Leading My Family in Discipleship

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG 

As a little girl, I loved going to my grandparent’s house every Friday night.

When my grandad came home from work and put his huge metal lunchbox down, I was so excited for what adventures he was about to have.

I tried to be his shadow, tried so hard to follow him to gather eggs...until he told me about the snakes in the hen box, then I showed him how fast I could run. One of my favorite memories is their huge garden. Although I loved laying in the rows of strawberries and eating until I was caught or full, my favorite memories of the garden were before anything was planted. The days grandad would till the ground were the best! Now, I learnt early on that making dirt angels (think of a snow angel in the freshly tilled dirt) was not a good thing to my grandma, but it was so fun!

I loved how the dry, hot Oklahoma ground felt cold after it was turned with the tiller.

So as grandad walked in straight lines back and forth, his steps sank deep into the fresh cool dirt. I then attempted to take each step behind him in the footprint he left. This worked great, until he took a huge stride. I always attempted to jump for the next foot hole, but usually didn't make it! It was our game, and I think he loved it as much as I did.

When I read Matthew 11:28-30, I many times will think of this game.

“Walk with me” had to mean following in his footsteps, trying to make those huge strides.

Jesus did everything he did, knowing he would give his life on a cross as a sacrifice for my sins and for the sins of humanity...that is a huge stride. I’m not sure that’s something I can ever fully comprehend much less attempt to make myself.

So how do I help my kids walk in his footsteps as well?

When I think about the times in the garden, I have to admit, I really thought that with all the time I spent there, I would have picked up a few things. However, in spite of the hours I ate in, laid in, dug in and walked behind my grandad in that garden, I am terrible with growing any kind of plants! Even my kids have told others to buy me plastic plants, because if it’s alive, mom will kill it.

As a mom now, it drives me crazy when my kids and I are trying to walk somewhere, mid-conversation and they are walking behind me. It is difficult to talk to someone when they are behind you, they can’t hear you!

So it makes me think, Jesus is asking us to walk with him.

To pay attention to how He does (or in the Bible how He did) things. 

As I look to discipleship in my own family, this is an approach we take.

Our kids are nine and eleven, so we haven’t yet hit the preteen, or teen hurdles yet! However, we have been  able to walk through challenging times with our kids. They are aware of the things going on in our lives. They know when we feel wronged, and they know when we have made poor decisions. They have walked with us in it.  

Sounds easy enough, right. I know, not really. Here are a few things that we have “stumbled” into that we try to do as a family:

• We try our best to model what a disciple of Jesus Christ looks like.

This means when someone wrongs you, your response is filtered through, “how would Jesus handle this?” Or as a mom, if I were watching my kids walk through a situation, how would I like to see my kids handle this situation. If you think for a second that your kids aren’t watching and seeing you as a model for their actions, listen to how they reprimand a sibling or a peer. Sounds a lot like the model they hear a lot? (I hate it when I hear my kids echoing my attitude to each other! Am I really that obnoxious!? Don’t answer that!)

• We try to focus on Jesus, and not just our situation or circumstance. 

We want our first response to be, go to Jesus. One of the things we have always tried to practice in our family is to first pray. My favorite is when one of my kids lead the prayer. We get to hear their heart, their requests to Jesus, and so many times it realligns my vantage point to focus on Him and what He is doing, not on what I’m holding onto. So when we have something great, we stop and thank Jesus! When we face something impossible, we stop and ask Jesus to help us.

• We try to be deliberate in our lives, and less reactionary.

There are many seasons when busyness overtakes us, and we (I hope you don’t mind that I’m being so inclusive. I don’t want to say it’s just me) tend to live life as a reaction. It’s like if you’re driving in town, and your turn anytime you feel like you’re in someone’s way! If we are more deliberate in our lives we have more ability to focus upon Jesus. Many times when I’m just reacting to situations and things in life, I begin to only see it through a self-centered pity for myself, rather than seeing that there is an overarching, beautiful story that God is writing right now. 

• We see our value and worth, and the value and worth of those around us through God’s eyes. 

You might be thinking, what does this have to do with discipleship? It’s all about my relationship and my family’s relationship with Jesus. Nope, I don’t think so.

Here’s what Jesus said in Matthew 28:19-20 ESV:

 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

You and I are called to make disciples of everyone.

So if you’re a parent, you are making disciples of Jesus in your home. But it doesn’t stop there! Jesus said “all nations!” Every tribe, tongue, race, gender...this list goes on and on! Everyone! Do you know why? Of course you do, but I’m going to say it anyway. Because He loves each and everyone of them so much that He died for them! He values them. They are worth His life.

When you’re looking around, and you see someone you don’t understand, stop for a moment and think of how much God loves them.

Right now, as is, He loves them with an incomprehensible love. When each of us begin looking at one another through God’s value meter, can you imagine the empathy, understanding and love we will find for each other through Christ? You’re not doing this alone friend, the end of those verses is an incredible reminder, “I am always with you, to the end of the age.” Cling to that, we are not alone in this. At. All.