A Guide to Fasting as a Family
Fasting might seem weird, or scary, or even unnecessary (Does anyone really even do that anymore?!). Or maybe fasting just feels like a big black box of “the unknown” (Yikes!). But the Bible tells us that fasting can be a way for us to show our love for God and set aside special time to let Him change our hearts and help us to know Him more.
If fasting is something you don’t know much about, but you are interested in trying it out with your family, this is your step-by-step guide to doing a simple fast together. We’ll walk you through explaining fasting to your kids, some examples of types of fasts you can explore, and things to think about before getting started.
Step 1: Explaining Fasting to Kids
Kids often want to get a feel for the big picture, but they also want to ask the what, why, and how questions. We’ve given you some pointers for both those things below:
Big Picture
An easy way to explain the benefits of prayer and fasting to kids is to compare it to cleaning out old toys that no longer work or aren’t fun anymore. When you clean out old toys, you aren’t just getting rid of things to get rid of things, you’re also making space for new toys.
When we fast, it’s like we are cleaning out our bodies, or our time, to make space for new gifts from God.
Frequently Asked Questions
We wanted to in include some basic answers to questions your kids might ask. Feel free to improvise, but we wanted to get you started, just in case it might help.
What is fasting?
Biblical fasting is giving up something in order to try to know God more and get closer to Him. Prayer and fasting go really well together because fasting is a way of disconnecting—unplugging—from the world, and prayer is connecting—plugging into—God.
Why should we fast?
Fasting is also like a big reset button or a good deep cleaning that helps to clear away extra junk or layers of ick (yes it’s a real word! Google it!) that build up over time. It helps us get back to the basics of our relationship with Jesus.
How do I fast?
Great question! There are lots of different ways to fast. You can give up favorite foods or give up specific activities (screen time much??) or even habits (How about fasting rolling your eyes?!).
Step 2: Pick Something to Fast
There are tons of different types of fasts. We’re diving in to two main types here:
Food Fast
While we do not recommend that children skip meals or drastically reduce their food intake, a modification of their diet might be an easy place to start. Think about fasting from dessert or candy, chips or fried foods, red meat or (gasp!) bacon.
If you’re feeling up to the challenge, consider introducing a form of the Daniel Fast. The Daniel Fast includes legumes, nuts, vegetables, and whole grains. This is a more intense food fast that is a great way for kids to participate in a safe and healthy way.
Screen Time Fast
We all have tons of entertainment and screens in our lives. Why not think about reducing some of the time and energy spent watching TV; playing video games; or using the computer, iPad, iPod, or other devices? (Awwww mom!! Do we have to?)
Step 3: Think It Through Before You Start
Finding something that’s a good fit for your family.
Bring your whole family in to the discussion. Rather than passing down a “decree from on high,” let your kids ask questions, voice concerns, and have a say in the decisions that are made. Don’t be afraid to push them and ask them to stretch, but let them engage in the process of defining the fast.
Think about how long the fast will be.
Depending on what type of fast you decide to do, it might apply all-day-every-day, for several days in a row. Or you might pick something that is specific to a certain time of day over the course of a week. If you need screens for work and school during the day, but you want to do a screen time fast, figure out what time the fast will start each afternoon or evening.
You could pick a fast that will last from Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday. Maybe it ends—intentionally—on Easter with a break-the-fast celebration! Whatever you decide to do, make sure the boundaries of the fast are well-defined and clear from the get-go.
Don’t just take away. Add something in.
If you’re doing a food fast, schedule some specific time after dinner, or around other meal times, to read the Bible, pray, or journal, either together or individually.
Or, if you’re doing a screen time fast, take some of the time that you would have spent on those devices and read a chapter of the Bible together or pray that God would work in your hearts.
Over the course of the fast, depending on how old your children are, talk about what questions they have about God or how to hear His voice. You can even encourage them to write down questions they have for God or the things that God is saying to them in the time you set aside for the fast.
It should be uncomfortable.
A fast should really cost you something. You, and your kids, should *feel* the absence of whatever you are giving up. If you don’t really notice that you’ve given something up, you might as well not be fasting at all. (Ouch!)
Don’t give up.
Nobody is perfect. If you’re doing a fast for a week, but you blow it on Day Two, don’t quit. Pray as a family that God will forgive your mistakes and that He will help you to keep going and then jump right back in on Day Three. All is not lost if the fast isn’t perfect. There is real value in your kids seeing mistakes happen but also seeing how you turn back towards Jesus and keep pressing towards Him.
Take time to reflect and celebrate.
When your fast comes to an end, take a few minutes to talk about it. What worked? What didn’t work? Was it too easy? Too hard? What would we want to do differently next time? As you wrap up the fast, it’s a great time to lay some groundwork for the next time your family does a fast together.
But, if you don’t talk about anything else, make SURE you talk about what God taught or said to each of you during the fast. Take that moment to really celebrate how God took the time you gave Him and made something important and beautiful out of it.