Dealing with Judgement
Imagine, one of the sweetest, most innocent little faces of a preschool girl. This precious angel, tears streaming down her chubby little cheeks telling you that she was told that she is stupid. These moments are ones as an adult, you never feel prepared for. Watching my sweet daughter feel like her world was crumbling because some kid told her she was stupid was a moment I was not ready for.
Someone judged her and it meant something to her very deeply.
We look at these moments with kids and we think of solutions. Like how they should respond, “tell that kid…” Although, I will tell you, my favorite response was when my daughter (probably in kindergarten or first grade) told another child that insulted her, “This word you are using, I do not think it means what you think it means.” Parent win when they quote The Princess Bride, right? :-)
I realized pretty quickly that my son can let comments roll right off. He doesn’t really care too much about others opinions. My daughter is the complete opposite at times. More than quick retorts, she needed to understand how to deal with judgment that comes with life. It was then that we started helping her learn how to self talk. Changing her mental conversations in order to change her perspective on the situation. It goes along the lines of what Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Focus on good things. Focus on God’s words.
We also reminded her constantly of whose she is. She is the daughter of the King of kings. That raises her value, even in her mind, because she is not her own. She’s Gods. Then we pointed her to realizing what God says about her. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” My hope as a mother is that she will remember this when her self-esteem is down, and she’ll cling to this declaration in those down moments.
So, if you’ve stuck with me this far, (hopefully) you’re agreeing with these little points.
However, what about you?
Sure these are great ideas when speaking about a child, but what about you and me as adults? What do we do when we start hearing the murmuring around us about vaccinations, masks, or even gathering together? There could be dangers in giving our opinions. We as a society seem to love to categorize things, even people. How sad if someone doesn’t share our opinion, it becomes a “for us or against us” type of viewpoint.
Now, I’m not going to tell you to not share your opinion or your views. I’m not even going to tell you how you should or shouldn’t be making judgements on everything around you. I am going to remind you, that when you begin to feel the weight of opinions on you, listen to what I told my daughter:
Go back to Philippians 4:8, and think on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise.
Who do you belong to? (Hint: God!)
How valuable are you to Him? (Hint: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 You mean so much to Him, He gave up His Son for you.)
What are His truths about you? Focus on that. Spend time in the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal His truth to you.
You know what these steps do? They take your focus off of yourself and the judgement you feel, and focus upon God’s truth. My prayer, when judgement is thrown your way is that you will be reminded of God’s incredible love and value He has for you.